FV127: Voyager's Drinking Game
by Fifth Voyager
Summary: Tom and Morgan organise a Drinking Game for the crew and the results are disastrous


Voyager's Drinking Game

**Episode Synopsis**  
Tom and Morgan organise a Drinking Game for the crew and the results are disastrous.

**Guest Stars**  
Marill as herself  
Firera as herself  
Charizard as himself

**Written By**  
Marill & Firera

**Written**  
28th & 29th April 2001

**Edited**  
16th January 2005

**Episode Based In**  
August 2376 (very late season 6)

**The Mess Hall:**  
Everyone was standing around, bored to tears. Tom was standing at the left side of the Mess Hall with a microphone.

"Oh come on, somebody has to have a talent we haven't seen yet," Tom said loudly. Everyone just ignored him. "We really oughta do something different," Tom muttered. Harry walked up to him.

"Tom, I think we should just stick with VTV Live, Talent Nights are getting rather dull and pointless now," he said. The writers and Charizard walked into the room.

"Wait a sec, the writers are here," Tom said.

"God you must be desperate, the writers' only talents are being silly and annoying," Harry said. Tom ignored him and he slowly made his way over to them.

"There's something really dull in the air, wouldn't you say Charizard?" Firera asked.

"I thought it was Marill," Charizard replied.

"Looks like another dull Talent Night," Marill muttered.

"That sounds like it's right up our alley!" Charizard giggled.

"Wouldn't it be exciting if Charizard and I can demonstrate our talents here?" Firera said.

"It would be exciting if either of you had any talents to demonstrate," Marill muttered. Some dodgy music started and Charizard started to dance the Flamenco.

"It's in my blood, the Flamenco!" he yelled. Marill stared blankly at him. Everyone turned to stare at him.

"You'd better get a blood test," Marill said. Firera started doing ballet. Marill covered her face to hide herself. Tom walked up to them.

"Hiya, would you do those dances for our Talent Night?" Tom asked.

"Sure," Charizard said. Everyone groaned when they heard him. The pair ran over to the left side of the Mess Hall. They started dancing.

Marill slipped out of the room as quickly as possible. The Night Shift walked into the room. They stared at the two dancing.

"Oh god, what do you guys think you're doing?" Morgan asked. The pair stopped dancing and stared angrily at her. Charizard laughed quietly. The Team Rocket music started.

"Prepare for trouble and a dance," he said.

"Make it double, we're in a stance," Firera said. Everyone groaned and most people fell asleep.

"To protect Voyager from devastation," Charizard said.

"To protect the crew from evil nations," Firera said.

"To announce the evils of rabbits and love," Charizard said.

"To make our site a more popular one," Firera said.

"Charizard."

"Firera."

"Would you guys cut it out!" Tani snapped.

"How dare you interrupt the Fifth Voyager motto!" Charizard yelled.

"Yeah, I'll fix her," Firera said. She pulled out her notepad. She quickly wrote something down. Suddenly Tani turned into Kiara from Lion King 2.

"This isn't funny! Change me back!" Tani grumbled.

"It wont be so bad. You're a cartoon character, so is James from Pokémon," Charizard said. Firera giggled like a kid. Tani looked at Fifth Voyager's James. As usual he hid behind Jessie.

"I'm a bloody lioness! I can't attract guys!" Tani yelled.

"You never could in the first place," Jessie muttered.

"What was that?" Tani asked.

"If you want to change back to your ordinary self you have to say daddy," Firera said.

"Is that all?" Tani asked.

"Do it now or we'll change Craig into Kovu then he can be your love interest," Firera said. Craig perked up and he looked hopeful at Tani.

"Daddy," Tani said.

"Now say Kovu," Charizard said.

"Why?" Tani asked. Firera pointed at Craig. "Oh, er Kovu!" Tani said. Suddenly Tani turned back to herself. "What the hell was the point in that?" Tani snapepd.

"Well you're played by Neve Campbell, she does the voice for Kiara in Lion King 2. She always cries out to her daddy and Kovu. We just wanted to have some fun," Firera replied. She and Charizard walked out of the room in a huff.

"Oh, they hadn't finished!" Tom moaned.

"Oh dear, what a pity," Harry said sarcastically. Tom hit him in the back of the head. "Ow! Hey, wait a minute, aren't you guys suppose to be doing your shift?" Harry asked. Everyone in the night shift just laughed at him.

"We only are when the episode needs us to be, so no we're not suppose to be doing our shift," Morgan replied.

"Oh, makes sense," Harry said.

"What doesn't make sense is this bloody Talent Night. Why is it still on?" Lilly asked.

"She's right, there is only one hundred and fifty six people on this ship, they've all shown their talents, what's the point of this crap show?" Harry asked.

"Fine! I'll give Talent Night a break for a few seasons, we'll probably have more characters by then. Those writers think you can't get enough of them," Tom said.

_"I heard that!" Marill's voice yelled._

"So what are we going to have instead of the Talent Night?" Triah asked. Emma looked over to the replicator, she saw beer there.

"Ooh, beer!" she yelled. She ran over to it and she started drinking it.

"No, we're not going to have beer," Lilly muttered.

"That's just gave me a brilliant idea," Morgan said.

"That worries me," James muttered.

**Two hours later:**  
Everyone but Tom, Harry, Morgan, Tani, Jessie, James, Craig, Triah, Lilly & Emma had left.

"I still say we should use Futurama," Tani said.

"Don't be stupid. Futurama isn't the program to use for a drinking game," Morgan said.

"Yeah and Pokémon is, is it?" Tani muttered.

"We're using Pokémon and that's final. Anyway we've already made the rules and guidelines for it," Tom said.

"I still don't understand the rules," Jessie said.

"It's simple. For example one of the guidelines is drink one glass when Team Rocket do the motto. If they do the motto you drink one glass. Simple, isn't it?" Tom replied.

"You get kicked out of the game if you're too drunk, if you collapse, feel sick or quit on your own. The last one in the game wins," Morgan said.

"I get the picture," Jessie said.

"So, who's in?" Tom asked.

"Oooh, beer," Emma muttered when she saw another bottle of beer.

"She wont say no," Morgan muttered.

"It'll be fun, count me in," Tani said. Harry, Craig, Triah, Lilly and Emma agreed with her. Tom looked over at Jessie and James.

"What about you guys?" he asked.

"You must be joking," Jessie muttered.

"Yeah, you'll probably have a video camera handy again," James said.

"Oh come on. What will the video camera be for?" Tom asked.

"You know. You brought a video camera with you the last time we got drunk," Jessie said.

"Oh yeah," Tom muttered.

"Well we're not going if you have that bloody camera again," James said.

"I wont, I promise," Tom said.

"Promises are cheap coming from you," Jessie said.

"He wont bring a camera. If he does I'll just beat the crap out of him again," Morgan said.

"Again?" Harry muttered.

"Fine I'll come, as long as I get to help you beat him up if he brings a camera," James said.

"Deal," Morgan replied. Tom groaned.

"Oh fine, you all go and have fun. I'll have fun on my own," Jessie said huffily.

"Jess, why don't you want to come?" Lilly asked.

"Because I don't want the same thing to happen that happened last time," Jessie said.

"And what was that?" Emma asked.

"I'll show you the video," Tom said. Both James and Jessie smacked him.

"No you wont!" they yelled.

"Ow," Tom muttered as he rubbed his head.

"Oh come on Jess, it'll be fun," James said.

"No, and that's final," Jessie replied. She walked out of the door.

"There's nothing that persuasion can't fix," Tom muttered.

"Maybe we should ask other main characters.. er I mean senior staff to come," Harry said.

"Good idea, Harry. Morgan, you should ask your parents. I'll ask B'Elanna. Harry you'll ask Neelix and Seven," Tom said.

"I doubt Tuvok would come, the Doc can't drink and Naomi and Kiara are too young," Harry said.

"That's why I didn't include them," Tom said.

"What about Jessie?" Emma asked.

"Look if she doesn't want to come who are we to force her," James said.

"Who are we? We are her friends, right guys?" Tom asked.

"I think she would rather be friends with the fat guy than you," James said.

"Now that is insulting," Harry muttered.

"Oh, you hurt my feelings," Tom said sarcastically.

"If you don't shut up they wont be the only things that hurt," James said.

"Ooh, touchy," Tom said.

"Tom, give it a rest," Morgan said.

"All right, all right. Anyway I have the perfect plan to get Jessie to come," Tom said.

"I thought she told you to zip it," Tani said.

"I'll do it for him, in the literal sense," James said.

"That's gotta hurt," Craig muttered.

They all heard a disgusting noise. Then the ground started shaking.

"Ohno, here comes the fat man," Emma said. The fat man tried to walk into the room but his body got stuck in the door. He pumped, then he was able to walk through the door. Everyone ran out before the smell came to them. The fat man looked over to the kitchen and he saw a bowl of cold beans. He waddled over to them and he started stuffing his face.

**The next day, the Bridge:**  
"I'll give you some Cherry Coke if you come," Morgan said.

"I doubt the Captain would agree to a drinking game if you gave her a bottle of fizzy pop," Tuvok said. He saw Kathryn snatch the Cherry Coke off Morgan and she started drinking it.

"Ohno," Chakotay muttered.

"You got yourself another player," Kathryn said.

"What about you dad?" Morgan asked.

"Why should I go to this, drinking game?" Chakotay asked.

"It's fun," Morgan replied.

"And that's suppose to persuade me?" Chakotay asked.

"Yes," Morgan replied.

"Okay I'll come," Chakotay said.

"Yey! We're gonna have a party!" Kathryn giggled.

"Oh great, the Cherry Coke has infected her already," Chakotay muttered.

"I wonder what she's like when she's drunk," Morgan muttered.

"I feel like I'm already regretting this," Chakotay muttered.

_"Paris to Morgan. B'Elanna's going. Harry managed to persuade Seven and Neelix to go, don't ask me how. Anyway how are you doing."_

"Mission accomplished," Morgan replied.

_"Great, come here about 0800 hours, we'll set everything up. Tell everyone who's coming to come to the Mess Hall at 0830 hours."_

"Right," Morgan replied. Kiara and Naomi walked in.

"What's going on?" Naomi asked.

"We're having a drinking game," Morgan replied.

"Oooh, can I come?" Kiara asked.

"No, we'll be drinking alcohol and you're too young for it," Chakotay said.

"Oh, I wanted to drink Cherry Coke," Kiara moaned.

"There's nothing stopping you now," Morgan said.

"Yey, lets get some Cherry Coke!" Kiara squealed. She dragged Naomi back into the turbolift.

**Jessie/James' Quarters, 0800:**  
James was getting ready in his room aka The Mess. He heard a scream coming from Jessie's room. A few seconds later he heard a banging noise coming from his door. He quickly slipped his jacket on and he opened the door. Jessie pushed him out of the way and she ran into the room.

"What the hell is going on?" James asked.

"Spiders," she stuttered.

"Where?" James asked.

"My room. Eeew, they were so big and creepy, do something," Jessie replied.

"I can't, I don't like them either," James said.

"You should of seen it, there's probably about twenty in there. I locked the door so they couldn't follow me in here," Jessie stuttered.

"So where are you going to live?" James asked.

"I don't know, the Living Room. I'm never going in there again," Jessie replied.

"Er, what about your stuff?" James asked. Jessie started crying and she collapsed on his bed.

"My clothes! My make up! They're probably covered in those creepy things!" she cried.

"You can replicate more until somebody gets rid of those things," James said. Jessie sat back up and she wiped away her tears.

"Who would want to get rid of them. Anyway if they did manage get rid of them what's stopping those things from coming back," Jessie muttered.

"Good question. What I would like to know is how spiders managed to get on the ship," James replied.

"You don't mind if I stay in your room until you get back," Jessie asked.

"You're joking right. I'll probably be drunk when I get back," James replied.

"Your point?" Jessie asked.

"Well if you plan on sleeping here until I get back then you'll probably find yourself on the floor in the morning," James replied.

"Oh good point," Jessie muttered.

"Jess, you've still got time to get ready and come to the game with us," James said.

"Fine, I'll just replicate some clothes and I'll get ready in the bathroom," Jessie replied. She stood up and she left the room.

_"Paris to Taylor. Are you coming or not?"_

"You said we have to come at 0830 hours not 0800," James said.

_"Yeah but we need some help sorting stuff out."_

"Give me about ten minutes," James replied.

_"Why ten minutes?"_

"None of your business," James replied.

_"Oh please tell me, we need help now and I want to know why you can't help us for ten minutes."_

"Fine, Jessie's coming and I have to wait for her to get ready. Now stop your whining," James replied.

_"Oh good work. How did you persuade her?"_

"Go away," James said.

_"Oh fine, you can tell me when you get here, Paris out."_

**The Mess Hall, eight minutes later:**  
"So which episodes are we having?" Tom asked.

"Lilly and I have decided on The Ghost Of Maiden's Peak, Pikachu Revolts, The Double Trouble Header, Holiday Hi-Jinx & Holy Matrimony," Morgan replied.

"Which major guidelines are used in those episodes?" Tom asked.

"There's the one where you have to drink three glasses when you see a Disney looking scene or thing," Morgan replied.

"Er, which one is that?" Lilly asked.

"The Double Trouble Header, there's a bit where the background changes from normal sky to sunrise, it looks like the Lion King's sun at the beginning of the film," Morgan replied.

"Oh, whatever. Any more?" Tom asked.

"You have to drink about two glasses when Jessie and James hug each other either out of fear or joy," Morgan said. Tom was about to say something but Morgan deathglared him.

"What about that one in Holiday Hi-Jynx, they hug because they're freezing," Lilly said.

"So, that means it doesn't count," Morgan replied.

"Why don't you just say drink two glasses when they hug," Lilly said.

"Drinking two glasses is a bit too much, those two are just as bad as our Jessie and James, they probably hug in each episode," Tom said.

"Actually I think.. oh guess I'm mistaken. They hug at the end of Maiden's Peak in fear, there's a few fear hugs in Pikachu Revolts, there's a joy hug near the end of The Double Trouble Header which I made add has the Lion King sunrise in the background," Morgan muttered.

"Woah, how many drinks is that in one scene, about five," Tom muttered. Morgan ignored him.

"Holiday Hi-Jynx has the freezing hug, Holy Matrimony has, er.. Lilly help me out here," Morgan said.

"None really, all I know is that they shake hands at the end but Team Rocket fans say that they are just holding hands," Lilly muttered.

"Lilly, you're blabbering again," Tom said.

"See Tom, you were wrong, they don't hug in each episode," Morgan said.

"Yeah but you said they hugged a few times in Pikachu Revolts, that makes up for Holy Matrimony. Anyway, what happens in that episode? Do they get married?" Tom asked.

"No, if I remember right James is forced to marry a girl called Jessiebelle, who looks exactly like Jessie, to inherit a fortune," Morgan replied.

"Does he get married?" Tom asked.

"No, the Pokémon writers weren't that cruel," Morgan replied.

James and Jessie walked into the Mess Hall. Tom rushed over to them.

"About time you two showed up. We've nearly finished organising everything," Tom said.

"Oh so you rushed me for nothing," Jessie said angrily.

"No not really, you two can replicate all the drinks," Tom said.

"Looks like Emma's doing that already," James said. Tom saw Emma replicating beer and then she was about to drink a bottle. He rushed over to stop her.

"Emma, you can drink when the game starts," Tom said.

"I can't wait that long," Emma moaned

"You can't wait ten more minutes?" Tom asked.

"No," Emma replied. Tom picked up a Cherry Coke bottle and he handed it to her.

"Here, this should keep you occupied for the time being," he said.

"Oooh Cherry Coke!" she squealed. She opened the bottle and she started to drink it. She walked off. Tom walked back over to James and Jessie.

"Okay you can continue from where she was up to," Tom said.

"I don't like beer," Jessie said.

"Neither do I," James said.

"Are you sure you're not twins?" Tom asked.

"You what!" Jessie snapped.

"Well you both hate heights, the dark, bugs, beer. Only twins and soul mates have the same personalities as each other," Tom said.

"Oh just shut up," James said.

"Fine, what alcohol do you guys like?" Tom asked.

"Anything but beer," Jessie replied.

"Fine, everyone so far likes Bacardi and coke so we'll have that," Tom said.

"Why not Cherry Coke, coke is too boring," James said.

"Fine! Remember only three quarters of the glass, Cherry Coke, and the rest Bacardi," Tom said. He stormed off.

Twenty minutes later Kathryn, Chakotay, Craig, Tani, Triah, Seven, Neelix, Harry & B'Elanna had arrived in the Mess Hall. There was about fifteen chairs facing the viewport and a large TV. Tom was standing in front of the TV with a microphone.

"Welcome everyone to the first of many, Voyager Drinking Games. This game will feature Pokémon. There are five episodes from different parts of the series and we'll show them in the right order. Anyway please take your seats," Tom said.

Everyone sat down in the chairs. "The episodes are The Ghost Of Maiden's Peak, Holiday Hi-Jynx, Holy Matrimony, Pikachu Revolts and The Double Trouble Header. Please note that there is a guy in four episodes that's just like Craig," Tom said. Everyone groaned. Craig just grinned.

"And there is a Pokémon version of Jessie and James," Morgan said from her seat. James and Jessie just sulked. Tani perked up when she heard the name James.

"Did you have to mention that?" Jessie asked.

"Well, it's only fair," Morgan replied.

"Anyway you should of revised the guidelines, revising them will definately help how quick you are at the game. If you are too drunk, collapse, or just quit you have to leave your seat. The maximum drinks you should drink are twenty five, as you can see there is twenty five drinks on the left side of your chair. The one who drinks the most and is still in their seat is the winner," Tom said.

"Why did I ever agree to this?" Chakotay asked. Most of the group agreed with him. Tom picked up the remote and he sat down next to Harry. The Pokémon Theme came on.

About ten minutes into the show most of the group noticed the first guideline and they drank a glass. As usual Seven and Morgan got drunk straight away. Morgan stood up and she walked straight up to Seven.

"Listen you Barbie Borg, I'm going to be the first one to lose," she said as she pointed her finger at Seven. Seven stood up and she pushed Morgan out of the way.

"No, Aqua Borg, I'm first!" Seven snapped. The pair pushed their way through the chairs and they both got out at the same time. "I beat ya!" Seven yelled.

"No, I beat you!" Morgan yelled. The two argued for a couple of minutes and they collapsed on the floor.

"Looks like they're outta there," Tom said.

**One hour later:**  
The fourth episode was about to start. This time the theme music was Pokémon World. Only Chakotay, Harry and Triah were still in their seats. They were determined to win the competition. Suddenly Tani started singing to the Pokémon World theme tune. The theme music finished a minute later.

Five minutes later Triah finished another drink and she fell off her chair. She giggled as she stood back up.

"Looks like I'm outta there," she giggled. She walked away from the chairs and she joined the others. Chakotay and Harry still struggled to beat each other.

Craig was sitting with Morgan and Lilly. "You know what we should do?" he asked.

"What!" Lilly yelled.

"Add two more people to our PokéBall band, then dye our hair different colours of the rainbow and then call ourselves PokéBall Rainbows!" Craig murmered. Morgan jumped up and she hugged Craig.

"What a great idea! You're a really clever guy!" she yelled. Tom struggled to walk up to their table.

"Hello girls," he said in a slurry voice.

"Er, I'm here too," Craig said.

"I said girls you moron!" Tom yelled. He collapsed on a chair next to Lilly.

"I'm not a girl!" Craig yelled.

"Are to," Tom said.

"Are not!" Craig yelled.

"Are to!" Tom yelled.

"Are not!" Craig yelled. There was a thud. Tom had fallen off his chair again.

"This looks familiar," Morgan muttered as she looked at Tom who was swearing his head off on the floor.

"How do you know, you weren't in Aggressions," Craig asked.

"Was too!" Morgan yelled.

"How can I argue with my little Borg Princess," Craig said.

"WILL YOU IDIOTS HELP ME UP. I CAN'T F GET UP! OH S! I LANDED ON A F BOTTLE!" Tom yelled.

"Do you kiss B'Elanna with that mouth?" Lilly asked.

"Shut your f gob, Willow!" Tom yelled.

"HOW DARE YOU CALL ME THAT YOU F B!" Lilly yelled. She threw a plastic bottle at him and it bounced off his head.

Craig and Morgan stood up and they 'walked' over to Jessie, James, Emma & Tani who were dancing to PokéRAP GS by Johto.

Craig whispered something in everyone's ear. He and the other six rushed out of the room.

**Twenty minutes later:**  
The last episode started with the theme tune Pokémon Johto. Luckily Harry had gotten too drunk to play anymore so Chakotay had won but he was a little too drunk to realise it. Everyone left the TV playing and Tom and Harry started to sing to the theme tune. Tom finished singing and he walked over to B'Elanna.

"Hi Honey! You know that we're engaged why don't we get married now," Tom said.

"Okay!" she yelled. They both stumbled out of the room and they ran into the Doctor holding a hypospray.

"Oh, I'm glad to run into you guys. Time to get sober," the Doctor said. Tom and B'Elanna screamed and they tried to push past him. He injected them both and they fell over. "Doctor to Transporter Room, beam Tom and B'Elanna to Sickbay," the Doctor said.

Tom and B'Elanna beamed away. The Doctor walked into the Mess Hall. Everyone stopped and stared at him. Suddenly they rushed out of the room through the other day at the speed of light.

"Oh great, this is not going to be easy," the Doctor muttered and he headed out of the door.

**A corridor on Deck Three:**  
Kiara and Naomi were skipping along the corridor, giggling like mad. They ran straight into some familiar faces.

"Hi Morgan, I like your hair!" Kiara giggled. Morgan, who now had orange hair, picked up her little sister.

"Thanks you little brat!" she yelled. She put her back down. Craig had red hair, Lilly had yellow hair, James had green hair, Jessie had blue hair, Emma had purple hair and Tani had pink hair.

"Why have you dyed your hair?" Naomi asked.

"Because we're PokéBall Rainbow!" Craig yelled. They all stood in a row.

"Oooh, what a pretty rainbow!" Naomi giggled.

"But your in the wrong places. The rainbow is red, yellow, pink, green, purple, orange, blue," Kiara said.

"That's where you're wrong," Lilly said.

"It doesn't matter anyway. Mum and Dad want you Morgan. They said something about going down to that planet," Kiara said.

"Meh! Whatever," Morgan muttered. Kiara took Morgan's hand and she pulled her down the corridor.

"I know why, those two are getting married. I think somebody should stop them, they're still drunk," Naomi said.

"Shut up you little brat!" Lilly yelled.

"Watch it Naomi, don't bug the J/C fan," Tani said.

"What about C/M fans?" Craig asked.

"Who are they, jerk?" James asked.

"Me and Morgan," Craig said in a cheerful tone. Naomi rolled her eyes and she walked off leaving the six band members.

"Does anybody like spiders?" Jessie asked.

"Eeew, those things are disgusting," Lilly moaned. Emma burst out laughing at the word disgusting.

"Why do you ask, gorgeous?" Craig asked. James hit on the head.

"Don't call my best friend gorgeous, you pervert!" he yelled.

"Yeah pervert, I do agree with you but you're just annoying. Anyway there's loads of horrible spiders in my room," Jessie replied.

"Eeeew, I would never sleep in that room again," Lilly said as she shuddered.

"Why don't you set fire to the room," Emma said.

"That's your suggestion for everything," Tani said. Emma just giggled.

"Well I'm going to my bed, I'm tired," James said.

"It's only 2120 hours," Tani said.

"Tough! I'm going to my bed!" he snapped and he stormed off down the corridor.

"Me too," Jessie said and she ran to catch up with him.

"Oooh," Craig said which was followed by a tricorder hitting his head. Don't ask where that came from.

"That's not what she meant, pervert!" James yelled.

"Yeah, I haven't got a bed anymore. Well I do but I'm not sleeping with spiders!" Jessie yelled.

"So you're sleeping with James instead. Which is worse," Emma laughed. Another tricorder was thrown and it hit her in the head.

"That's so insulting, I'm going to cry," James moaned.

"Now look what you've down you bch! And for your information we're only going to sleep in the same room, so shut your fng perverty gobs!" Jessie yelled.

"Would you mind yelling that a little bit louder?" Lilly asked. The pair ignored her and they 'walked' off down the corridor.

What the other four didn't know was that the Doctor was coming up behind them with a hypospray. Emma and Lilly collapsed. Tani and Craig turned around and they screamed. It was too late the hyposprays were used on them and they collapsed too.

**Sickbay:**  
"How many more Doc?" Tom asked as the Doctor walked into the room.

"About nine more. I know where Seven, Neelix, Triah and Harry are so I'll go get them. You may leave Mr Paris, B'Elanna," the Doctor replied. He picked up some fresh hyposprays just as Tom & B'Elanna left the room.

"You know B'Ella, I wasn't joking when I said we can get married today. You said that you wanted to get married without many witnesses," Tom said.

"You mean..."

"Yeah, that place on the planet, you don't need any witnesses. It's a lovely place to go," Tom said.

"That's great Tom, a normal and simple wedding is all I've ever wanted," B'Elanna said.

_"You're just making any excuse to get them down on that planet, aren't you?" Firera's voice asked._

_"Shut up ballet girl, have you got better ideas?" Marill's voice asked._

_"Come to think of it, no," Firera's voice replied._

**The planet, a small posh little church:**  
Tom and B'Elanna walked inside the church. It was small and on the inside it was painted a light shade of blue. They both could hear talking coming from the other room but they couldn't make it out. They both walked up to a receptionist.

"Hi, we would like to get married," Tom said.

"Yeah, I know the drill. What species are you?" the receptionist replied.

"Human," B'Elanna replied. Tom briefly stared at her.

"That's good, we know that one. You'll have to wait until the other couple come out," the receptionist replied.

"How do you know Human?" Tom asked.

"The couple in there are Human," the receptionist said.

"Looks like somebody from Voyager wanted a secret wedding. Lets just hope it isn't any of the drunk ones," B'Elanna said. The doors opened and Tom and B'Elanna just stared in horror when they saw who walked out.

"Hello Mrs Chakotay," Chakotay laughed.

"Hi, Mr Janeway," Kathryn giggled. Kiara and Morgan were right behind them. Tom tried to hold a laugh back when he saw Morgan's hair. Kathryn threw her bouquet backwards and Morgan caught it. She screamed and she gave it to Kiara. Kiara giggled.

"Yey! I'm getting married," Kiara said. Kathryn, Chakotay and Kiara walked out of the building. Morgan was about to follow them but Tom grabbed her arm.

"Morgan, what have done to your hair?" he asked.

"I dyed it, dumb a, what do you think I did, put orange juice in it?" Morgan replied and she walked out of the building.

"Okay you can go in now," the receptionist said. Tom and B'Elanna just stared at each other in shock.

"Tom, you're a dead man when those two find out what they did," B'Elanna said.

"Not really, it was Morgan who persuaded them," Tom said.

"Yeah, but they wont kill their own daughter, they'll choose to kill you instead," B'Elanna said. Tom swallowed hard.

"Maybe we'll get married some other time, if I'm still alive," Tom said.

"Suit yourself," the receptionist said.

**The next morning, Kathryn's quarters:**  
Kathryn and Chakotay woke up with the sound of Kiara running into the room. They both looked at each other.

"Oh crap! I knew I shouldn't of went to that game," Chakotay muttered.

"Same here. Lets hope we didn't do something else more stupid," Kathryn said.

"I'm getting married," Kiara said as she held out the bouquet. "Oh yeah, you forgot the rings last night. Here you go," Kiara said. Suddenly they heard a scream.

"MY HAIR! IT'S ORANGE!" Morgan's voice yelled. She ran into the room and she just stared at her parents with a disgusted look on her face. "Oh.. my.. god," Morgan said.

"Could this day get any worse," Kathryn said.

**The corridor, Deck Six:**  
Lilly and Emma were walking down the corridor. Lilly had a hat on to hide her new hair colour. Emma didn't seem to care about it. They both stopped outside Jessie and James' quarters.

"You know they're probably not even up yet," Lilly said.

"Then we'll wake em up," Emma said. She pressed the door chime.

Inside the quarters was empty Cherry Coke bottles on the floor. The pair had fallen asleep on James' bed. He was the first one to wake up. He sat up and he looked around the room. The Mess was even messier, the empty space was covered in Cherry Coke bottles.

He noticed that Jessie was lying next to him with a Cherry Coke bottle in her hand. Another bottle fell off the bed and it crashed onto the floor. Jessie woke up.

"Jess, please tell me that.." James said.

"No, don't worry about it, just look at yourself," Jessie muttered. He did just that and he sighed in relief, they both were still wearing their clothes from last night. She opened the bottle of Cherry Coke and she drank some. "Ugh, it's flat," she moaned and she dropped the bottle by accident. The door chime went off again. James left his room and answered the main door.

"See, they are awake," Emma said.

"Just because he's up doesn't mean she's up," Lilly muttered.

"What do you two want?" James asked.

"Well we just wanted to say that Tom will come down to your quarters later to get rid of the spiders," Lilly said. Emma started laughing.

"And you've got very nice hair," Emma laughed.

"What do you mean, I've just gotten up, what do you expect," James moaned.

"The messiness is not the problem, have you seen the colour of it?" Lilly asked.

"What colour is it?" James asked.

"Bright green," Lilly replied.

"You're joking, right?" James muttered.

"Nope, here, take a look at this mirror," Emma said and she handed a small mirror over to him. He looked into it.

"Oh my god! Guys, how do you get it off?" James asked.

"Emma said that she can get it off using this strange shampoo stuff," Lilly said.

"I'll lend it to you after I got Lilly's hair back to normal, I like my hair this way so I'm keeping it," Emma said.

"Is there enough for two?" James asked.

"Why?" Lilly asked.

"Well..." James muttered. They all heard a scream coming from his room.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HAIR!" Jessie screamed.

"That's why?" James replied.

"Oh, I see," Lilly replied.

"Why is she in your room?" Emma asked.

"Spiders are in hers, remember?" James replied.

"Yeah I know, but I thought she would sleep on the couch not with you. What were you up to last night?" Emma laughed. Lilly elbowed her hard in the arm.

"Obviously nothing," James replied.

"Yes, I believe you," Emma laughed. She and Lilly left. Jessie ran out of the room.

"My hair is ruined.. oh so is yours," Jessie muttered.

"Emma said she'd lend us the stuff to get the dye out," James said.

"Good, blue highlights is one thing but blue hair entirely? I don't think so," Jessie said.

"Lets just hope nothing worse happened to anybody last night," James said.

"Nah, I doubt it. It's not like anybody would of gotten married," Jessie said. The door chime went off again. "Aaaghh, I'm not letting anybody see me like this," Jessie said and she ran back into his room. James had to answer the door to a grinning Tom.

"My James, nice hair," Tom said.

"What do you want?" James asked.

"Oh, B'Elanna and I decided to have our wedding last night when we were sober, you know at that nice chapel. You never would of guessed who we saw getting married last night," Tom said.

"I give up, who?" James asked.

"The Captain and Chakotay," Tom laughed.

"You what?" James muttered. They both heard Jessie laughing from inside James' room.

"Anyway, B'Elanna and I decided to get married today, do ya wanna come?" Tom asked.

"Not really, I hate weddings. I promised myself not long after my mum wanted me to get married to Dannielle that I would never go to a wedding," James replied.

"Not even your own?" Tom asked.

"I'm not getting married," James muttered.

"Don't say that, Jessie can hear you," Tom laughed. Suddenly Jessie burst into the room and she stormed over to Tom.

"What's that suppose to mean?" she asked angrily.

"I would of thought you would of worked it out," Tom replied.

"I have you moron! That's why I'm going to kill you!" Jessie yelled.

"Kill him after he gets rid of those spiders," James said.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about my spiders, excuse me," Tom said. He walked into Jessie's room. A few minutes later he walked out with a little tub of spiders. "Did you like them Jessie, I bought these little toy spiders from this shop on that planet we passed four days ago. Oh well I'd better go," Tom said. He left the room laughing.

"James, get me a knife," Jessie said.

"Okay, as long as you leave some for me," James replied.

**THE END**


End file.
